


fucking bread

by Airheart



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Random & Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 02:48:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3961603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Airheart/pseuds/Airheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haikyuu characters and bread</p>
            </blockquote>





	fucking bread

**Author's Note:**

> my sister: *hands me scraps of paper at a bar mitzvah* "write fanfiction about haikyuu characters and bread but use the small pieces of paper for the short characters and the long pieces of paper for the tall characters"  
> me: "literally no one will get that"  
> but i did it anyway  
> and while i was supposed to be working, too

Nishinoya freaking loves bread. He eats toast for breakfast, and always makes a sandwich for lunch. The sandwich is just 2 slices of bread with a dinner roll in between. Because he loves bread so freaking much.

One day, he missed a receive because he was busy eating a baguette. They lost the championship because of Nishinoya’s unhealthy love for bread. Nothing new.

The End

 

* * *

 

“Let’s go feed pigeons at the park,” Sugawara suggested. The rest of the team thought that that was a great idea. So they all went to the park and sat down on the benches and started scattering breadcrumbs. The pigeons came. Hinata began to sweat.

“What’s wrong, Hinata?” asked Tanaka. Hinata was silent for a moment.

Then he dove to the ground and began eating the breadcrumbs right off of the ground. It’s disgusting. Nishinoya joins him. Now it’s twice as disgusting.

The End Again

 

* * *

 

It’s lunchtime at Nekoma High School. Kuroo brought Monster because he is a teenage boy. Kenma forgot his lunch. Kuroo offers him some Monster but Kenma has self-respect and buys bread instead.

It is the most delicious thing that he has ever tasted.

“This is the best day of my life,” says Kenma.

“What about the day we met?” asks Kuroo. Kenma stares at him for a second, then turns back to his beloved bread.

“This is way better than that,” he says. Kuroo starts to cry.

The End Yet Again

 

* * *

 

Yaku was walking home from school. He got hungry. So he stopped at the convenience store and bought some melon bread. He started to eat the bread, and continued on his way.

He made it almost to the next corner before Nishinoya from Karasuno High School ran past, grabbed the bread, knocked Yaku to the ground and ran off with the bread.

Yaku never told anyone because he was so ashamed.

The End god will this ever truly end

 

* * *

 

Kuroo’s feelings were so hurt because Kenma loves bread more than him. What does bread have that Kuroo doesn’t?

“I’m handsome, tall, fit and I don’t have to be baked at 350 for 20 minutes before Kenma can eat me,” he says to himself. Right at that moment, Kenma walks by...eating bread. Kuroo hates that bread. He goes up to Kenma.

“Hi, Kuroo,” says Kenma. Kuroo slaps the bread out of his hands.

“Love me like you love bread, Kenma,” he says. Kenma kicks him.

“You’re buying me a new piece of bread.”

The End

 

* * *

 

Aone was so freaking ready. He was at the top of his game. Date Tech was totally going to win this match.

The referee blew his whistle and Karasuno served the first ball. Only it wasn’t a ball. It was a dinner roll. But Aone blocked it anyway. He blocked it so hard that it exploded. Bread flew everywhere. Hinata ate all of it off the floor. It was disgusting, and Karasuno lost. Again.

The End

 

* * *

 

“Hey Daichi,” says Sugawara, “remember that time Hinata ate bread crumbs off the ground like a pigeon?”

Daichi got up and started to walk out.

“Don’t ever talk about that ever again,” he says. Oops I changed tense. I’ve ruined this whole thing. Sorry Mom

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is the best fanfiction i've ever written tbh


End file.
